


Feeling Blue

by thetengubride



Category: Last Legacy (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, It just has a lot of emotions, It's a subtle kind of angst I suppose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22481434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetengubride/pseuds/thetengubride
Summary: Ilya couldn't do magic, every attempt ended in failure.
Relationships: Felix Escellun/Ilya (oc), Felix Escellun/original character
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Feral, this one is for you.

Another failure… Ilya took a deep breathe; she was so frustrated. Felix insisted to her that magic took time, it was all about the practice. He would remind her that he didn’t learn necromancy in an instant, repeating the stories about how long and slow the process was; never forgetting to mention the difficulty of it all. However, none of that provided her with any comfort at all, it still came down to the fact that she couldn’t do magic, every attempt ended in failure. Ilya was miserable as a result. After lessons with Felix (which have inevitably gone wrong) she’d mope around the place, always fleeing to bed when he’d try to talk to her about it. The streak never seemed to stop even on the days which the lesson didn’t go terribly she’d huddle herself away in the room. Felix’s study was religiously avoided after lessons, Ilya felt it just reminded her of how useless she was.

Ilya and Felix were out together, they were exploring and to some degree training. He thought maybe if she was out in the field it would flow more smoothly, the magic would come in a natural way. Of course, his theory was a stretch but Felix was doing all he could to help her develop her magical skills. They had gotten deeper into their exploration when they came across a small group of mobs, providing the perfect opportunity for Ilya really get the hang of magic, unlock the full potential she had inside.

The mobs approached, seemingly quite aggressive. Felix egged Ilya on to go for it, he assured her that she could easily manage this, they were nothing. However, as a precaution he readied himself to fight back the mobs since there was no absolute certainty that this would engage her magical abilities. The mobs drew in, a few parrying at them causing Ilya to yelp and skip back. Felix encouraged her to fight back just as he had taught her. The prompt made her repeat a flurry of chants, incantations and anything else she could think of screaming. Nothing coalesced, leaving her at the mercy of the mobs that fixated themselves with cutting her shins. Ilya gained a few cuts before Felix inserted himself into the situation, his hand wrapping around tightly braided leather of his whip handle. The swift snap of his arm manifested a slim mauve thong connecting to the handle, and lead Felix to crack at the mobs forcing them to stay back.

Felix merely kept them at armslength while Ilya nursed her cuts, cleaning with what little supplies she had brought. Ilya felt tears stream down her cheeks, it was obvious that she was useless student. In her eyes, Felix was a fool for thinking she could ever manage. In this world, just like the last, she was a waste of space. Her tears distracted him for a moment, he just couldn’t help letting her become his focus again.

“Ilya, don’t cry. This isn’t as bad as you- Eee, gods!”

Felix’s pep talk was interrupted by on of the mobs taking the small opening he had given them and grappled onto his leg. The necromancer tried feverishly to kick the creature off however that only resulted in another joining in, slowly starting to overwhelm Felix as they circled him. He didn’t ask Ilya for any help as it all happened, he simply tried to get them off himself. Despite it being in no way a slight to Ilya and her ability, she took it as one; as if Felix felt it was easier to struggle alone than ask for help from his stupid pupil.

Ilya’s cries turned into sobs, her body shaking. Her stomach churning as misery consumed her steadily. So many futile thoughts swirled in her head, thoughts screaming at her, calling her incompetent, weak, hopeless… Why did Felix take her out here? Why did he have to trust her so much? Of all the people to have faith in he chose the hapless Ilya. Now these mobs were going to swarm him and cause all kinds of damage, and she couldn’t even heal him in the end.

“I’m sorry, Felix” she cried.

Felix was still struggling with the mobs, taking some cuts and scratches to the lower half of his body. Even as he struggled though, he found it in him to reassure her; telling her that this isn’t her fault. Somehow that made it worse to her, he was too blind to even blame her for something that was obviously her fault. It made her feel like she could burst, as if she could simply pop like a balloon and let all her misery out. The all-consuming distress she felt came to boiling point as Felix asked her to simply push on, she had to be strong just now.

“I ca….” She trailed off, her whole-body trembling.

“I can’t do it!” Ilya almost screamed.

The scream felt like a great release of pressure inside her. But as relieving as it was, she felt dizzy, blinking rapidly as she swayed. While Ilya tried to get her bearings back, the world around her was blanketed in a deep blue hue. Both Felix and the mobs were hit with almost debilitating sadness, tears streaming down their cheeks uncontrollably. The mods that were grappling with Felix dropped off him, many curling up to weep. Felix wobbled under the weight of this blanket of despair, his eyes flicking to Ilya who appeared to be covered in a deeper blue hue. It was obvious she was the source of this immense sadness, as if she was transposing her feelings onto everyone around her. Felix could feel her anxiety and self-loathing, it ate away inside him making the world around him seem oh so deplorable. Nonetheless, he knew he couldn't let it weigh himself down, he had to get to her in order to stop this all. 

"Ilya…" he called, "Ilya, listen to me. I'm okay!" 

Ilya didn't look, she just cried. Rivers of tears cascaded down making it clear enough Felix that he had to stem the tears to get any result. Although, unfortunately that was easier said than done at the moment. That would not stop Felix though, it was his mission to break the vail and end this unyield cover of misery. All he needed to do was get her, break through and remind of better times, of her values. To do that, he felt he needed to get closer to her, to touch her. He swayed to and throw in her direction, eventually landing himself in reach of her. An extended hand landed a feather like touch on her only to then result in an immense ripple of purity despair. 

It echoed through Felix, dragging every hint of pain he ever felt to the forefront. The torment of his childhood, learning his craft through the most horrific means, even the current wounds he was experiencing seemed to pulse with now amplified pain. His entire being quaked, allowing everything to seep in and fill him. The overwhelming misery and pain weakened him, he crumbled to his knees; completely lacking the will to pick himself up in anyway. Felix laid there, tears trickling down onto the ground in the fashion as the blood from his open cuts. Loosely he held himself, flashes of excruciating memories constantly looping in his head. As he laid completely debilitated on the hard ground, Ilya's attention drifted to his way which then led her to kneel at his side; salty tears falling onto him. This was it, this proved it. No matter what she would always be a failure, incapable of achieving anything…

"I'm sorry Felix…" 


	2. What's The Use Of Feeling Blue?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ilya makes ammends

Felix’s eyes appeared blank, glazed over and empty. Ilya could hardly understand what was happening inside his head, what he was thinking and reliving. She watched as the tears fell down his beautiful features; never having seen him cry like this, much less at all, Ilya felt that she was committing some kind of unforgivable sin. With a hint of hesitance, she touched his cheek letting his hot tears gather by her fingers. He was so ridgid, it was as if he was stone cold dead but still crying. And this was all her fault, she made him like this.

Delicately she wiped a few tears away, the warmth of them seemingly triggering something inside her. A thought. Ilya thought about how he had believed in her so much and the way he would know what to do if the roles were reversed. Ilya came down closer, holding him loosely as he laid there. At least while he was like this she could comfort him, he deserved as much. Ilya closed her eyes, the tears still slipping through delicately. As she embraced him, the blue around them slowly faded aware. The once opaque dark surroundings started to dissipate, pittering away.

The blue was replaced by a soft pink which was nowhere near as thick as the blue had been but it felt just as strong. All the tears that had been previous caused by the blanket of blue dried up, meaning Felix’s tears were stemmed. A light blush touched his cheeks, as if was just exchanged then for his tears. The emptiness of his eye faded and his characteristic silver glint returned. A stream of warm, loving memories were bestowed upon everyone in the area, excluding Ilya however. But it could be argued that her thinking of Felix was an equal to such. The haze of pink sank and Felix became more coherent again, he finally moved.

“Ilya?” He asked in a raspy voice.

“F-Felix? You’re okay!” she said in pure relief.

He nodded, he was as okay as one could be with so many lacerations. Felix grumbled, the pain was subsiding but he still stung and ached horribly, enough that he was in desperate need for some nursing. Ilya realised such and endeavoured to move him, while she wasn’t the strongest of people Felix wasn’t the heaviest meaning she managed to pick him up. Admittedly it felt strange carrying Felix, especially after daydreaming the reverse, but then she felt an immense surge of pride as she was finally able to protect him. 

It took double the time it normally would have to travel back to Felix’s humble abode but at least they made it. Ilya was absolutely knackered whereas Felix was reeling from today’s experience. Lovingly though, he was placed on their bed and Ilya carefully undressed him where needed. Of course that resulted in a blush rushing across his cheeks again; thankfully going unnoticed. 

Normally Felix didn’t find himself feeling so helpless alas though today proved to be an instance of just how badly he could feel such powerlessness. Ilya had left him be, collecting bandages and antiseptic to treat his wounds. In a similar style, she wasn’t feeling too great about herself either. She was experiencing a lot of guilt, blaming herself for Felix’s pain despite the fact that the latter amount wasn’t her fault. Nursing Felix was intended to ease this guilt a little but instead it just seemed to amplify it for her, bringing all his pain to the forefront of her mind repeatedly. It was when she was bandaging the cuts on his thigh that she let it shine through,a couple stray tears dropping down onto his leg.

“Ilya… Don’t cry” He told her softly.

“Why not?” she sniffled, “After all I’ve done aren’t I allowed to feel like this?”

“I don’t know what you think you’ve done, but I assure you that in my eyes you’ve done nothing worth crying over”

“You didn’t see it though!” Ilya barked before covering her mouth.

She took a moment to compose herself enough to coherently talk to Felix, she didn’t want to snap at him. After all, he was trying to soothe her and make things better, he deserved the decency of a proper conversation.

“Felix… You can’t tell me I didn’t hurt you” she pointed out, “I saw your empty eyes, I saw your pain”

There was a beat of silence before he decided to say his piece, “Ilya, you didn’t do any of that to me. I didn't once see you and you didn’t inflict these wounds… Today I took you out there knowing the risks, I knew that I could get hurt…”

Ilya didn't look at him, she was caught up in her own head. Part of her tried to turn it all against her again and the other wanted to believe Felix and relieve itself of the burden of guilt. Silence prevailed throughout, Ilya being watched as she deliberated in her head. Slowly enough she came to her conclusion, while she couldn't totally forgive her for what had happened, Ilya did forgive herself enough to believe what Felix was saying. 

"I was scared… It was too much" Ilya admitted to him. "I don't want to endanger you again like that" 

"You won't, I'll help you hone your magic… We'll do this together" Felix assured her. 

She finished wrapping his thigh, remaining above him. Her eyes flicked down onto his, locking her gaze onto him. Ilya smiled to herself before leaning down, pressing a butterfly kiss onto his forehead. 

"Together" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm real weak, okay?


End file.
